Wednesday, 10 October 2018

Social media is becoming less and less sociable

emily temple cute falling alice Yuko Higuchi japanese fashion jfashion mori girl otome
emily temple cute falling alice Yuko Higuchi japanese fashion jfashion mori girl otome

Although the glorious sunny weather of today does match these photos, I admit I took them a couple of weeks ago but have been too busy to sit and type out a post until now. I had surgery on my dominant arm this past Friday to remove a plate that was holding it together, so I've had a busy couple of weeks trying to do everything I could in preparation for not being able to do a lot.

The most difficult part of having to have such an inactive October is the fact that I feel I'm missing out on my favourite season. I'm incredibly limited at the moment as my forearm is full of holes so could snap very easily which is a scary thought! I can't even draw which I'm definitely finding the hardest. Not that I haven't gone for longer than this without drawing before, but I've recently come out of a period of art block and so typically am feeling incredibly inspired at the moment. I feel so much happier with the artwork I'm creating, and although skill and style-wise I'm not where I'd ideally like to be, just feeling inspired to do something about that is pretty huge for me.

emily temple cute falling alice Yuko Higuchi japanese fashion jfashion mori girl otome
dress - emily temple cute | underskirt - axes femme | boots - new look | necklace - bunnyhell | all else thrifted

I've been devouring TheGothicAlice's sketchbook tour videos, a genre of YouTube video that I usually detest as they're usually so unrealistic and impractical with perfectly curated finalised illustrations on every page. Sketchbooks are supposed to be messy, to be full of ideas and experimentation, and that's exactly what TheGothicAlice's are - something personal that she carries around daily and treats just as much like a journal as a sketchbook. It's got me itching to return to drawing everyday like I used to and stopped me from feeling so intimidated by it's blank pages as I loose that toxic idea that it has to be perfect and cohesive for some imaginary audience to enjoy. This feeling of wanting to draw every day has only been reinforced by re-watching Leigh Ellexson's videos about her 365 project where she drew every day and seeing how much it improved her artwork. I really want to do something similar, but not to share online like she did, just keep it for me. I know I lose a sense of accountability this way, but I'm rather tired of this modern idea that everything a creative makes has to be shared and put up for public opinion and consumption.


I've been thinking a lot about internet culture lately, and the unsocialness of social media. I remember a few years ago my favourite blogger switched off comments to her blog and at the time I felt completely perplexed - her blog was popular and received hundreds of comments to each entry, it blew my mind that she wouldn't want that. But now I get it, as I realise that social media isn't as sociable as we're lead to believe. It's become warped into this attention seeking space, as if attention and interaction are the same thing which it isn’t. Wanting to express yourself and share your interests with potential like minded people doesn’t mean you want to open yourself up to unsolicited advice and people making assumptions based on the slither of yourself you present online. The actual community aspect of social media is rapidly disappearing and I’ve grown weary of the constant bids for attention that come with being online. Internet culture has us in constant competition with each other, instead of just befriending one another.

I've been just as guilty of this in the past as I've suffered with feelings of impostor syndrome and have sought validation online. I mentioned before how I've spent the past few months rediscovering some old interests and passions which has made me feel happier than I have in absolutely years (which is no doubt why the art block has lifted!). And a rather nice side effect of rediscovering this old part of my life is that it's making me even more nostalgic than usual for the internet of old and reminding me of online life before ‘influencers’ and follower counts mattered, when we’d interact on forums and support each other with no 'follow for follow' ulterior motive (I long for the days of forums with tight knit fan communities and intricately crafted graphics; back when we'd self-learn HTML and PHP just to build fan sites from scratch, and spend hours creating icons and graphics for LiveJournal). Whilst I may not be able to regress the internet back 10 years, I think a lot of my happiness is stemming from this nostalgia and losing the absurd need try and impress anyone. I've learnt to stop caring as I'm no longer looking for popularity or validation, I'm not looking to be the best, or the biggest fan, or anything like that, I'm just enjoying stuff that I'm absurdly passionate about again. And I'm reminded of that favourite blogger who switched off comments, and I get it now - because sometimes that outside interference can ruin things.

I've realised that this is why I've struggled with blogging in recent years. It's become something ridiculous where you have to show off in order to be interesting, but that's not what interests me. I don't care how much you spend on your clothing or art supplies, I don't care how many times you've seen your favourite stage production or band, and I'm utterly bored of people constantly trying to be an expert and act like the single biggest fan of a particular thing. Life isn't a competition to be won or lost. Let's have less shouting, less boasting. Take things slow, just enjoy stuff, and create things just for you because you want to and no other reason.

emily temple cute falling alice Yuko Higuchi japanese fashion jfashion mori girl otome

4 comments:

  1. When I first started to get back into blogging (I was into it like 10-15 years ago when I was high school and I started to stop caring in college) I was just getting into the tail end of the boom. No one was posting meaningful comments, and lots of people were just doing it "for the money." It took me awhile to find what I liked to do with it, and I found some people who blog for fun and we interact with each other. It has been nice. I TRY to post on blogs that I read, because it is nice to have someone show that yes, they are reading it.

    But I do agree, it can be exhausting to even be the reader with this current social media hustle. I love fashion blogs, but I can't imagine how much gets THROWN OUT if you are wearing everything more or less new every single day. Make up bloggers, not using half of their make up, and people crafting the perfect photos of crafts for their kids, but oddly their kids aren't in any of their photos.

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    1. I completely agree, Igot into blogging about 10-15 years ago too, and it really is such a weird shift, and so toxic how fake everything is now and the pressure that puts on people, it's no wonder so many people are anxious. I often think the same with regards to how much fashion and beauty bloggers must waste, and sadly it's so easy to get caught up into that feeling of having to keep up. I love finding people who just blog for fun but unfortunately they seem to be getting fewer and fewer, so many have just given up which is sad.

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  2. you look darling! and i hope your recovery and healing process is going well! i completely agree with you on social media and it becoming less and less social. there really isn't a community feeling anymore, and i do long for the days when connections felt more meaningful and people actually commented on things instead of giving meaningless likes to see who gets the most attention. i still like sharing pictures i take and thoughts i have and what not, but it does often make you feel like you aren't enough just for liking the stuff you put out there yourself (a bit silly, but what can you do!). i love the sentiment of "Take things slow, just enjoy stuff, and create things just for you because you want to and no other reason." - that is definitely what i try to do and i feel like maybe there's a slight shift towards that among a few other people, too. hopefully. xx

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    1. Thank you! ♥ I always feel a bit stuck with comments, as I often want to leave thoughtful replies to people's blogs if I've enjoyed reading it as I know that's what I love to recieve, but then I usually end up editing most of it away as it's not the done thing anymore and I worry about how it would be recieved. It feels people aren't interested in making connections nowadays unless there's some kind of return to be made from it which is sad. I definitely think people are getting a bit fed up of how filtered everything is, I've heard a few grumblings here and there so I'm hopefull too!

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